Once Upon a BANG!
by HanErin
Summary: Love Murder & Magic all set in the twisted and mystical town of Storybrooke. Read at your own risk!


The air was damp and the smell of sex hung in the air. A single candle sat flickering on the nightstand, casting shadows on the adjacent wall of the simple room; an erotic, shadow-puppet spectacle played out beside the two lovers.

"Oh! Oh my God! Yesssss!" she screamed as her head 'thunked' repeatedly against the headboard. Her cries rang through the open window and echoed throughout the modest streets of Storybrook. It had been their third bang-session that night but it still only took a few short thrusts for her to have her very own, 'happy ending.' She smiled, bemused with the thought. This normally dull and simple town was brought to life when this man was in her bed, _and in her_. The distant, female voice of a neighbor floated through the open window, "Shut. The. FUCK. UP! You sound like a stuck pig!" Emma rolled her eyes, _bitch can suck it._

He rolled off of her, panting. "Emma that was something else." The cool night air touched his skin, slick with sweat. Goosebumps appeared all over his chiseled physique giving texture to his normally perfect complexion. She traced his much-larger-than-average areola with her finger. "David, I've been thinking…"

"_Dammit, here it comes," _he thought as he pulled of the condom. He grimaced, _what are these made of? _He threw the 'bubblegum pink' jimmy hat on the floor next to the others with distaste. _Why couldn't she just buy the normal kind?_

"You remember that time when we were, you know, doing IT?" Emma asked innocently, grinning at his flaccid splendor.

"Yeah baby, I remember…" He groaned inwardly. She was going to say something that implied they needed to take things to the next level. Ugh, why did women always have to get so clingy after he put his _sword_ in them? _Sword?_ Why did he always refer to his piece as a sword? It just felt so natural…He shook the thought from his head, waiting for the inevitable to happen.

"Seriously though, I really like hanging out with you and all. I just…I wonder where this is going?" she asked.

"_And there it is," _he mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?" Emma asked.

"Nothing baby, just clearing my throat." He sat up, positioning a pillow under his back so he could lean against the side of the bed. They sat in silence for a few moments, her looking at him and waiting for his reply; him looking around on the floor for his pants so he could make a quick getaway. _Dammit, where are they?_

"Baby…"

"Oh, right. Um, well you know I have a wife Emma." He neglected to mention the other girls he was sheathing his sword in_. _She frowned at him and rolled over onto her back, her long blonde hair trailing down her chest. She pulled the covers over her breasts, feeling somewhat rejected and more vulnerable. She knew he was a married man but something just felt so right about this, like they had some deep connection_, like he was a part of her_. Just then her phone rang and David silently thanked God. Emma responded to the voice on the other end of the call.

"What?! Seriously? I'll be right there." She hung up the phone and turned towards David. "Baby, I'm sorry I've got to go. It's work."

"Is everything all right?" he asked, feigning interest.

"Yeah, something big just came up and they need me down at the station." She was getting dressed and pulled her service pistol out of the drawer in the nightstand. "I'd like to continue our conversation later," she said as she cocked the gun and secured it in her hip holster.

"Yeah, of course," he said. He reached over the edge of the bed and gathered his used 'love gloves' and carried them past Emma, planting a kiss on her lips as he passed. She watched him pass and eyed the 'cock helmets' in David's hand, smirking. "_Not like those will do any good now," _she said quietly, rubbing her abdomen.

"What's that?" David called from the bathroom as he hurriedly flushed them down the toilet. He was intent on not letting her have access to the used condoms. He was not convinced that she wouldn't try to retrieve his 'baby batter.'

"Oh nothing David, just saying that I'll be thinking of you."

"_That's just fucking swell," _thought David.

As the two passed back by the bedroom door on their way out of the house, a figure could be heard quietly cackling just outside the window. A thin man with stringy, brown hair and dark, beady eyes sat perched on the eve of the two story house. He was almost breathless with laughter, giddy at the scandal that was unfolding before him. "They don't knowww," he said in a jolly, sing-song voice. A devilish grin crossed his face, his crooked teeth catching the moonlight and exposing a bright, gold tooth.

Emma hopped into her car and watched David pull out of the driveway in his beat up pickup truck and drive away. She was happy for the call, things were beginning to go in an uncomfortable direction and they needed a break. _Come to think of it, so did her loins. _She raced towards the address that she was given by the dispatcher. A _kidnapping_…that was truly strange for Storybrook. She pulled up to the small, cottage style home towards the outskirts of town. Several patrol cars were parked with emergency lights on and an officer was standing in the doorway, speaking to a woman. Emma parked her car and as she approached, the woman who was speaking with the officer leapt down the porch steps and threw herself at Emma, collapsing in her embrace.

"P-p-please h-h-help m-me! He's g-g-gone!" she sobbed uncontrollably, leaving a spitty-tear-snot stain on Emma's red leather jacket. _Disgusting. _Emma consoled the woman before retrieving what information she could out of the mess of a woman. She was the mother and she last saw her son walking upstairs to bed. Sometime in the night, she had heard a crash from upstairs and a cry. By the time she had reached her son's room the window was broken and he was gone. Emma left the sobbing woman with the officer and headed upstairs. Another officer was already in the room and taking inventory of the son's items. When he heard Emma enter the room, he looked up from his clipboard.

"They left his balls," the officer said.

"What the fuck?! Really? His balls?!" Emma asked, incredulous. This was some seriously sick shit.

"Yes ma'am, his Poke'balls, or something, I'm not exactly sure what they are." He pointed towards a set of three round objects resting on the young boy's dresser.

Emma breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, those balls. Of course." She approached and examined the three small, red and white orbs. She wondered what their significance was. She was reaching forward, just about to touch one when a heavy, grating voice spoke from behind her.

"I wouldn't touch that if I were you."

His voice was dark and mysterious, even stranger was his European accent. _Irish, was it? Or maybe English? _Emma turned and found herself facing a man who was almost six and a half feet tall, with sharp cheekbones, a strong jawline and a just-too-large-for-his face, nose. Most noticeable about the man were his stunning, blue eyes. They were both soft and piercing at the same time. She was taken aback and even more taken aback at how turned on she was. _He's old enough to be my father._

He noticed her staring at him and confirmed her thoughts, "Easy girl, I'm old enough to be your father." His eyes softened and his smile betrayed his harsh tone. He chuckled briefly before turning his attention back to the Poke'balls. "Do you know what those are?" he asked.

"I have no idea," Emma replied. "What exactly are they?"

The man grunted. "Yes these are strange things; powerful, and certainly not something a Poke'mon trainer would ever leave behind." The man's brow furrowed as if in deep thought.

"How do you know he's a-a Pokemon, or whatever trainer?" Emma asked. The man had only been here a moment and he already seemed to know more about the boy and the kidnapping than she did. She noticed this fact with a pang of irritation.

"The plaque on the wall beside the door." He nodded over his shoulder, indicating a frame which held a polished, grey stone. "It's from the Rock Gym, just a town away." The boy must have been good to have been able to won one of those. _Very good. _He approached the Poke'balls and picked up the one that Emma had been about to. He eyed the thing and then pressed a small white button on its side. A flash of light burst forth from the ball and a sort of red lightning shot out of the small object. Once the flash subsided, they were greeted with a grizzly sight.

"Oh dear God," whispered Emma. The man knelt down to examine the scene. He peered at the Pokemon lying dead in front of him, stabbed multiple times and the knife protruding from its small, yellow chest. It couldn't have been more than two and a half feet long and that was including its weird, jagged tail and long, rabbit-like ears. The knife wasn't particularly large, but compared to that small frame…_It nearly split the poor thing in half. _A note was pinned to the small animal by the knife.

The strange man had grown silent and ominous. "What did you find?" asked Emma. "By the way, who are you?" The man ripped the knife away from the lifeless body and removed the note, allowing the knife to drop to the floor. After reading the note he turned and began moving towards the door, brushing past her.

"I am a man…a man, whom over a long career has acquired a very special set of skills…skills that are a nightmare for people like this." He then turned and handed the note to Emma. "My name is Bryan, Bryan Mills." With that he turned and began descending the stairs. Emma peered at the blood-soaked piece of paper. In scribbly handwriting, the note read, "_Think this is funny? People like this kid deserve to die. Sometimes the only way to set an animal free is to put it to sleep forever." _She grimaced.

"Weird fucking night," Emma said to herself as she left the room.


End file.
